I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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