Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
