Screwed.edu
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
