He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My bed smells like the plague
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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