ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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