Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."

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(517): They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what." http://tfl.nu/ufo0

Replies (3) Good night (2050) Bad night (666)
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(408): View more from California

she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.

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(408): she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night. http://tfl.nu/jplo

Replies (16) Good night (799) Bad night (3722)
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(269): View more from Michigan

I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.

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(269): I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college. http://tfl.nu/4edw

Replies (30) Good night (6541) Bad night (806)
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(703): View more from Virginia

using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.

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(703): using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes. http://tfl.nu/y0td

Replies (10) Good night (3613) Bad night (1085)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.

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(630): I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate. http://tfl.nu/tob7

Replies (18) Good night (5553) Bad night (2087)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two

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(617): I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two http://tfl.nu/3vhn

Replies (6) Good night (3349) Bad night (1522)
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(914): View more from New York

There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do

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(914): There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do http://tfl.nu/metj

Replies (8) Good night (2173) Bad night (1196)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day

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(217): I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day http://tfl.nu/8h3x

Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (2198)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable

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(319): Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable http://tfl.nu/cclu

Replies (15) Good night (669) Bad night (4412)
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(509): View more from Washington

I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.

(509): View more from Washington

Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.

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(509): I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream. (509): Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility. http://tfl.nu/ehsj

Replies (3) Good night (1041) Bad night (579)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"

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(647): Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?" http://tfl.nu/c4jm

Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (1024)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?

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(613): I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/khmv

Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (653)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".

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(662): You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,". http://tfl.nu/dg58

Replies (8) Good night (658) Bad night (866)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.

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(+44): Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off. http://tfl.nu/1dmr

Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (310)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.

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(709): I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits. http://tfl.nu/6xul

Replies (0) Good night (250) Bad night (304)

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