whats a polygalesbian?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.