Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize