So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing