Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.