Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Her name starts with A and ends with whore.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...

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(415): View more from California

I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.

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(863): View more from Florida

YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON

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