this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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