Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize