I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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