so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
