ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
