he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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