you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
