my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
