i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
