laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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