I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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