talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My vagina just recognized that song.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
