found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
