who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
