just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
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I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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