saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
