I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can I color on your dick again?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
