I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
