He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
