if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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