sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
