your thong is hanging out like whoa
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
