There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize