plz talk dirty to me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
