He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Someone shit on the floor
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
