found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it because I queefed?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
