So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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