:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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