I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
