She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
