It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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