Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize