She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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