how can u be prego again
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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