totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
