it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
