Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
