I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
