They should really pass out barf bags in church
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize