At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
