how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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