you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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