I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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