i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
