What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Tornado booty call.. dedication
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
