i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
