so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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