How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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