Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
