Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
