found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
