this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
so much tequila, so little girl.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
