Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize