dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
