Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's Friday. Sex?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
