thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
