TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
