i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
