Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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